The Club de Marco!

Birmingham’s famous Moseley Village has been triumphantly labelled the best place in the UK for city living. This cute little suburb topped the list of Britain’s best 50 urban districts! Nestled 3 miles south of Birmingham City Centre, it is easily reached on the number 50 bus by all manner of students and other “fun seeking individuals” looking for an evening of debauchery and hedonism, to while away their leisure time.

There is a little known, but increasingly popular venue, frequented by Moseley’s elite party folk, currently known as “The Club de Marco”. Its location remains a secret as attendees are hustled in to this private location blindfolded (and sometimes in the boot of a Ford Capri). Most are willing participants, although some are just easily led, while being under the influence of copious amounts of alcohol, when the local alehouses call time.

When one attends this crunchy and groovy venue, time stands still! Attendees have been seen leaving at 6 am on any weekend morning, blinking and somewhat dazed, wandering what has just occurred in this “parallel universe”.??

While Moseley has been praised for its “village community”, it is basing these results on factors such as schools, crime rates, number of hipsters, house prices and transport links, but not the secret world of “The Club de Marco”!

While local newspapers have claimed that the biggest asset in Moseley is Cannon Hill Park, it now has a serious contender for this role; notably the mysterious Club de Marco!

As one crosses the threshold to this live music/chill out venue, local musicians can be heard singing soulful tunes with various forms of accompaniment (including the playing of dessert spoons on occasions). The DJ and club owner, otherwise known as Marco (yet to be identified), plays a wide variety of tunes, both obscure and crowd pleasing. Attendees sometimes find themselves being lured in to erotic scarf dancing and limbo competitions in the context of subtle lighting and an atmosphere of wild abandonment.

Many a cocktail has been shaken and served at this venue (nobody really knows the prices but no one complains). Wine of a dark and rich nature is poured freely while individuals have recalled “drinking straight out of the bottle”, with no care for the germs and saliva one might be sharing with their fellow drinkers!

When party goers start to flag, a cab is called for them by the illustrious Marco himself! They are then escorted politely from the building, to a local taxi rank, ensuring a safe passage home from the “Club de Marco”. When questioned about these experiences later, participants tend to stare in to the middle distance and are unable to form words!

If attendees are unable to leave (for whatever reason) the “Club de Marco “offers a limited hotel service!

The “Hotel de Marco” is an interesting arrangement, something along the lines of “Airbnb” although a little less formal! The bedrooms are limited and one may wake up in a previously empty bed “spooning” a number of other guests! One might also gain consciousness with the Proprietor snoring gently beside you clad in nothing but a pair of Calvin Klein boxers.

The morning ablutions and “breakfasting” might feel a little unsettling for those of a more delicate nature, as you could be forced to make beverages for yourself and anyone else that has survived the evening, having rustled through a few of Marco’s kitchen cupboards. The Manager himself, may not wake up until after your gracious departure, as you stumble out clutching last night’s coats and handbags, sporting the beginnings of a pulsing headache.

As Lonely Planet writer (and occasional party goer), Ms Beaverhousen has stated, “The Club & Hotel de Marco is a not-to-be-missed-local-cultural-experience, adding an additional feature to the already fabulous Moseley Village. However, one must remember that the first rule of “Club de Marco” is “there is no Club de Marco”!